Blue Like Jazz

Today is my father's birthday. Or rather it was... its now 7:50am. I called but couldn't get a hold of him. He is off in Morocco or Jordan or somewhere in transit, off somewhere being the father that I love. In honor of his birthday I taught myself how to play a little blues guitar. I love jazz and the blues, and I know how to address a guitar, so it worked out rather naturally. I had read last week in a friend's textbook that there is a certain scale for playing the Blues, a particular algorithm if you will. I can't tell you the extent to which this makes me want to cry -- mostly because it is true. I want jazz to be one of those few activities I am not going to be able to teach a computer to perform better than a person. I love playing a song for someone who imagines I'm following a set pre-planned pattern only to know inside that it just came as I played it; out of no where. To be honest, I'm not much of a musician, but all my best songs come out of nowhere -- out of some sort of intense passion or zen-like absence.

A few weeks ago, for the sake of inspiration, I convinced myself that my father was dead, and I was playing at his funeral. It worked. I shed a tear for the first time in a few years, and my playing was spectacular. Improv is poetry in motion and one of the most beautiful experiences I know. I spend the rest of my "now and then" practice time tinkering around on instruments, annoying my co-habitants, repeating the same old garbage waiting for improvisation to happen again... Waiting for some kind of passion or inspiration; a sudden new song. Periodically I get one.


I read the book "Blue Like Jazz" today (thanks Meagan), and it gave me a bit of a new perspective as well. I'd sum it up as the brutally honest and colorful confessions of a confused and experimental Christian writer, struggling to mesh his ego and his intellect with his religion. My guess is, if you're a Christian, it will re-affirm your Christianity... and If you're not a Christian it will re-affirm your not-Christianity. Either way, it gives you great psychological insight into the human condition and offers some inspiring lessons learned by the author despite his endearing weaknesses.

"I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil, but rather to have us wasting time. That is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious." - Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

I really enjoy trading books with people I admire -- Books that there's no chance we'd read otherwise. It's a good life strategy to prevent narrow mindedness, and there's always something to learn you weren't expecting. I suppose that's why I like talking with people as well.

Today was a beautiful autumn day at the lake... clean fresh air, and warm sun. I spent most of the day talking with my mother about personalities and relationships. She wants me to take a cute picture of her for dating and for professional purposes. I spent the evening talking with my friend Matt about life and business. After he left, my Aunt (Lynn) couldn't sleep, and found me reading in my room in the middle of the night. We talked about pensions, retirement, finance. I spent the whole day talking and listening. It may sound a bit odd, but this is precisely how every single day of my life goes if I don't intervene. Unless I make a distinct effort to seclude myself and be alone, all I do is communicate for extended periods of time. Luckily, people are one of the things in this world I most enjoy.

Lately, I have an intense desire to meet and communicate deeply with brilliant and interesting strangers who are totally unlike myself in some important way. Well, that is when I'm not shutting off my phone and locking my door so I can try to accomplish something with my life.

For a calm and emotionally stable person, I can be a bit extreme.