The Wisdom In Between

Ethics and Economic Development

2005-11-29T02:22:00.000-06:00

This evening I attended a lecture on Ethics at UMKC with keynote speaker Randy Cohen of New York Times and All Things Considered Fame. The event was sponsored by the Center for Practical Bioethics, and I was rather expecting a focus on biology, but the issue never so much as came up.

Randy is the go-to guy for the nations ethical issues, though he would be quick to denounce the height of his own ethical standards. Moreover, he generally discounts the impact or even existence of personal character, and believes his success is due quite entirely to luck and social advantage, not any aptitude he might posses. Randy is a believer in the idea that the community a person is surrounded by determines the moral choices and ethical behaviour of an individual rather than the character of that individual -- not just during youth, but from moment to moment.

The best indicator of your income is your parents income level, and according to Randy, the best indicator of your behaviour is the behaviour of the person sitting next to you at the time. Essentially, there is no moral superiority or individual responsibility, but rather a systemic community responsibility bound to those with power to create an environment that encourages people to be ethical. Randy cited numerous statistics and research studies to back up his claims. The outcome of his conjecture is that people are mindless and flighty automotons who mirror behaviour and can neither be congratulated nor held responsible for their choices in the vast majority of cases. From time to time there may be independently ethical individuals, but such behaviour is often inconsistent and exceedingly rare, and we cannot rely on it to create an ethical society.

He spoke for some time about poverty (and prosperity) not being indicative of character, but rather being indicative of the economic circumstances in which one is in. When Randy's argument was countered by a speaker he said something to the effect of 'that would be nice to believe, but it is not my opinion that statistics support the existence of individual character'.

He pointed out that cheating in school, plagiarism, and music downloading are due to changes in technology that encourage these activities rather than any sort of moral decline, and that they continue due to our lack of creating innovative solutions to address them. Note I said address and not legislate -- Randy is against RIAA lawsuits and school zero tolerance and affirmative honor codes. He stresses that harsh penalties actually lead to more crimes because people refuse to turn others in or to convict them with such extreme penalties in place. Rather he asserts that there ought to be easier better alternatives to cheating created, and that there ought to be simple low-impact ways to discourage it.

A few experimental examples he referenced include:

Subjects were dramatically more likely to help an old lady in need if they serendipitously found a dime in a pay phone before hand.
Subjects were led across campus to an unimportant lecture event. When they were told that they were very early and had time to waste they were quite likely to stop and help a man in dire need of medical attention. When given no mention of time constraint they were moderately likely to help him, and when told they were in a hurry, they were extremely unlikely to help him. Being minutely late to a superfluous event dramatically affected ethical behaviour.
Subjects being interviewed in a room in which smoke was coming from the vent were dramatically less likely to report that the building was on fire, if other individuals were in the room did not appear to notice the event (diffusion of accountability, assumption that others must know what's going on).
In the Stanford Prison Experiment, normal people were committing prisoner abuse and sexual humiliation within 6 days on their own. The soldiers at abu-girab were just normal people who had a failing of leadership to address a steadily declining situation. People will adjust to anything over time as their expectations and justifications and peer-acceptance evolves.

The most immediately obvious thing about Randy is that he is quite a humorist and a rather vocal leftist. He also seemed to be a bit down on America and its lack of upward mobility, citing that it is worse than Europe/England. (I'm not sure I believe that, but he didn't reference a stat, so I can't specifically dispute it).

When he could brush his political opinions aside, he gave some strong insight into ethical behaviour. What he did not do, is point out very many solutions. Several audience questions, including that of my friend Airick West, ventured into the realm of "okay, so then what do we do about it". Fortunately, after the event I was able to catch a Thai dinner with two surprisingly action-oriented UMKC professors and a few bright young entrepreneurs who were apt to discuss just such issues.

During the course of this discussion we ventured into cultural, social and economic development plans which I will save for another day. Perhaps if I'm "lucky", you'll hear about them as part of a cohesive plan. In fact, if a number of us aspiring citizens are extremely "lucky" day in and day out for a number of years, you may even see dramatic results. ;)

(Well, I suppose now that I've gone there, I might as well refer back to Lucky or Smart.)

Siddhartha

2005-11-23T11:20:00.000-06:00

Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse is one of my favorite books, perhaps my favorite book. To me it is something of the intersection of Eastern and Western thought, and of religion, philosophy and human experience. It is the simple story one man's journey through life. If it resonates with you deeply, you will see its beauty. If it does not, I suspect you will find it a rather boring and simple story. It is short though, so I recommend you give it a shot.

I once met a girl who's graceful intellectual presence inspired me to read it (she noted it as her favorite book, though sadly I was never able to discuss it with her). I had several friends and persons I look up to previously recommend it, and soon after I bought and read it, I found out it was the favorite book of my favorite teacher (and one of the people I most admire) Joyce Halsey.

Joyce told me that she reads the book every year of her life to center herself. Joyce was the first teacher to openly admit to me that grades weren't inherently important and to show me that I may have better things to do with my time than schoolwork which does not inspire me. She taught me to truly value the life-long intellectual and philosophical pursuit that does not end. More importantly, she gave me reassurance that it was okay to be me -- more so that it was wonderful. Joyce was the director of my high school's International Baccalaureate Program and taught English and Theory of Knowledge. She is now off teaching somewhere in Africa; never content to settle in to conformity - she moves on to newer quests. A while back I found a note to myself that indicated that if I ever became rich I was to buy her a car. I have no idea why, but I'm sure she deserved it. Let it be known that I still intend to do so.

Anyhow, a good place to read about Hermann Hesse is here, and if you're cheap Siddhartha is now public domain and can be found at Read Print and Project Gutenberg.

The World's Best Video Gamer

2005-11-20T10:56:00.000-06:00

In high school I worked at an Internet company called Q-Networks (QNI). One of my co-workers there was the now Internet-famous Jonathan Wendel. I believe this to be the last consistent job he had before he became a professional gamer. (QNI was also home to Tech Report's Scott Wasson, Mike Wheeler, and Wes Burrows amongst other characters). KC Host (a startup I was partner in) was created by a half dozen or so ex-QNI employees -- but that's another story. Back to Mr. Wendel.

I can recall Jonathan winning Quake tournaments while on customer support calls and playing in a tiny (1x1 inch) window in the bottom corner of his screen so that the customer service manager wouldn't notice. His playing was graceful and serene, mesmerizing and sometimes bordering on nauseating to watch (spinning, hopping, running backwards). His customer support calls were awkward, stuttered, and confusing. In general, he was very competitive, and only played to win no matter the sport. (This is why he hated Quake 2, he lost at it).

Anyhow, Wendel went on to win cars and motorcycles and cash prices, and to have a line of sound cards, mouse pads and Abit motherboards branded in his honor and he now points to the future of cyber gaming. The glory and the fame of true domination are brought to him and his pride (read ego), though to the best of my knowledge he still lives in his parent's basement. Still though, I have to admire his business savvy and personal re-investment.

I recall one time when he asked to borrow a video card because his parents had taken his away for playing too much. They were always meddling and grounding him from his computer. I suspect that changed when he began travelling the world and winning $40,000 prizes. I assume they are now quite proud and supportive of his dedication. I hope he's still a nice guy like he used to be -- I suspect he still is as long as gaming doesn't come up.

Anyhow, here he is in the news again on MSNBC. He's been in Time and Newsweek and everywhere else. His website is fatal1ty.com

Be shocked, be amazed, be completely and totally unsurprised. The video game industry is a mainstream multi-billion dollar industry that drives hardware sales and cyber-athletes are here to stay.

(While we're on the topic, see if you can beat me to build the world's first video game that tricks people into doing something useful without realizing it. Or rather, bring uselessness to life by bringing video games to reality)

Lucky vs E-Myth

2005-11-07T21:36:00.000-06:00

These two books could hardly be more opposite if they tried. The difference stems mostly from the disparity between the viewpoint of a humble technology entrepreneur and an insightful retail salesman.

E-Myth teaches you that you should hire idiots and orchestrate their every movement. Lucky teaches you that you should hire geniuses and get out of the way.
E-Myth teaches you that you too can nourish and train your entrepreneurial spirit. Lucky teaches you that entrepreneurs are born, not made, and that attempting to be one unnaturally is a sure recipe for failure.
E-Myth says good enough is the enemy of great. Lucky says great is the enemy of good enough.
E-Myth preaches measured, quantified awareness. Lucky preaches blind faith and idealism.
E-Myth teaches you to be powerful in sales by taking control, Lucky teaches you to relax and embrace powerlessness.
E-Myth teaches you that you haven’t been paying enough attention to management, and that experts are beyond useless to you. Lucky teaches you to stay out of the management of your business and leave it to the people who are better suited to do it.

So what do they agree on?
Two things I can surmise: Have a vision, and learn to love the word ‘No’.

Once you understand when and why both perspectives are right, ta da, you’ve learned something useful.

Lucky or Smart?

2005-11-07T21:01:00.000-06:00

Secrets to an Entrepreneurial Life

Lucky or Smart is the 2005 production of 6 time entrepreneur, young multi-millionaire, and Tripod founder Bo Peabody. This is an awesome book written by an entrepreneur, for entrepreneurs; very honest and concise. I picked this one up at the 2005 Entrepreneur's Exchange in Kansas City. This book was Tom Lauerman's pick. Tom is the current EE president, and is also known for being my favorite investor. (cough)

Bo Peabody has had some amazing and fortunate things happen to him that he would attribute to good luck. But he has done them time and time again -- something that others would attribute to smarts. Bo says only that he was smart enough to realize when he was getting lucky, and he drives to teach you to do the same thing. Bo even goes so far as to argue that there is a pseudo scientific formula for creating business luck. Lucky things happen to entrepreneurs who create fundamentally innovative, morally compelling, and philosophically positive companies. Why? Because smart people gather there and work hard -- and when that happens, luck shows up!

I wrote a 5 page summary for this book, but it's a quick read anyhow and his anecdotes are useful and entertaining. You're better off just getting it straight from the source.

The E-Myth Revisited

2005-11-06T22:58:00.000-06:00

Why most small businesses don’t work, and what to do about it.

The E-Myth Revisited is the 2001 update to Michael Gerber’s perennial classic on small business development: The E-Myth.

Review Summary: This is a valuable book. It often traverses between lucid and lame, but I’m suggesting that you need to read it anyhow.

The E-Myth is one of the books I've been urged to read by Dr. Terrence Sebora, perhaps the book. Terry loves E-Myth. He has assigned its reading in both of the MBA courses I have taken from him. As the former Director for the Center for Entrepreneurship at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, and an influential mentor during Allied Strategy's business plan days, there was no way I was going to escape Terry's favorite book.

E-Myth refers to the American myth that most businesses are created and run by true entrepreneurs. Instead it conjects, that most businesses are started by workers taken hostage by a temporary entrepreneurial seizure. This book is designed to hit home with the newly minted, or already disillusioned technician or craftsperson turned business owner. It is designed to spur entrepreneurial and managerial thinking in that person and to convince them to take a systematic and higher level view of their business. It urges them to work ‘on’ their business rather than ‘in’ their business, and to create something that does not depend on them, and could one-day be sold. In accomplishing this purpose, the book is dead on.

Despite my serial entrepreneur's perspective conflict, there were still significant portions of the book I found rather enlightening. Whether I like to admit it or not, E-Myth did a good job of reminding me what I was here to do. In fact, I would go so far as Terry to say that every aspiring business owner should read this book. I suspect most that thumb through The E-Myth will not only take away something of value, but will be immediately struck as to which of their friends desperately need to read this book.

Attached is a 19-pg outline of information gleaned from the book, that is, if you're the executive summary type.

Stock Market Skeletons

2005-11-06T03:24:00.000-06:00

All right, I'm airing out my closet.

On my father's 64th birthday, a painful legacy was finally put to rest. This is the final liquidation dividend from the first and worst stock trade of my life: Commerce One. Yes, that's right, a whopping $.33 -- Just short of a phone call. Now really, this investment was done long ago, but I've kept it all these years as a reminder. I held till the bitter end. I'm hoping that in time its lessons will eventually absolve my loss, and for this reason, I share them with you.

It all started when I stepped out of my high school physics class to make an impulsive trade using a school phone. (mistake #1)

My dad had gotten the tip from my tech-savvy cousin Steve (mistake #2, 3rd party tips), I had read up on their prospectus (mistake #3, hype), and at some point during a lecture on frictional coefficients, I had decided I was ready to bite. I didn't wait. I stood up in my chair, asked my teacher if I could use the phone in the lab and made an urgent $40 phone brokerage order (#4, duh). Never mind that I'd never had a conversation with an adult regarding investments in my life. If I could create a Roth IRA, I could darn well invest my retirement. I heard Steve had picked a lot of winners, I knew technology, I liked the company, and the market was booming; I figured that this would be as good a start as any.

And so it was, along with software.com/phone.com, OpenWave, and nVidia that my Commerce One stock rode the bubble to new bounds and several multiples of its value.

As the bubble descended on all of them, I grew leery and spoke with my dad about selling. He explained to me that wise investors didn't fret over market convulsions and instead they hold on for their planned investment duration, or in this case 3 years. Everything tends to 15% in the long run.

Apparently, my father hadn't been told about tech stocks either. I held on and stomached the mounting thousand dollar losses with disillusionment as the bubble burst. Looking back, with MBA in hand, and 6 additional years of amateur investment experience, I can hardly grasp my logic. I think the picture below describes my folly better than words.
(note the logarithmic scale)

I never sold. Ever.

Advice #1: Only a gambler makes impulse stock purchases. Only a fool fails to notice when he has lost such a gamble. Only a genuinely apathetic man should neglect to have a downside limit. Gambling is fun, but if you're not in a financial position to do it, don't.

The sad truth, is that I was a gutless gambler, unable to confront reality. Was it ego, misplaced trust, fear of failure, naivety, wishful thinking? It's hard to say, but boy did I learn my lesson. As a high-schooler I lost denominations in the tens of thousands of dollars, which, though abstract and far away in retirement land, still hurt. Downside is real. Sometimes volatility never comes back. Ever.

Advice #2: Test your theories on real market data, but with fake money. Pretend to make trades and follow stocks to see if they work out. Look at failures and crashes from the past. Read books. Do anything but learn your lessons risking your retirement. Don't let yourself be fooled one day at a time. Keep the broader picture in mind.

Now before you hear my "sell x% when it goes down y%" theory, or my "avoid high volatility and positively correlated stocks" methodology, let's take a look at the next high-stakes trade I made, and why it was the same, yet different.

I bought Cerner at 16 and some change with a limit order. I think you can see about where that goes on the graph.

So what lesson did I learn exactly? Obviously it wasn't avoiding technology stocks, high beta, or falling prices. Instead, the following is what I claim to have learned:

Advice #3: You should not invest in stocks that you don't have the resources, insight, and copious spare time to know everything about. To do so is gambling. Index funds and other diversified financial vehicles are more appropriate for this commitment level. Hedge your risk, don't delude yourself, and don't be a retard.

At the time I was preparing to work at Cerner, and didn't have much better to do. I had spent hundreds of hours researching the company and its market position in order to impress the management. I knew the company's valuation, and more importantly I knew exactly why it fell, and why it was headed right back up. I knew that many of the original investors and major share holders were doctors at Menorah Medical Center. I knew that Menorah was Cerner's flagship software installation. I knew Menorah was just bought out, and was switching to rival software from Meditech. I knew from my mother that there was an air of panic about the hospital and a great deal of unfounded speculation going on with the physicians. Most importantly, I knew that the company was in good long-term shape. In short, I wasn't just gambling; I was making a strategic bet.

That sealed it, I decided that anything under 17 was a damn good price, and I set a 30-day limit order to buy if it hit that mark. If I couldn't get it for that price, I was only out the cost of an online order. If I could get it for that, it was a steal.

And it was. It came through the next day.

While I was at Cerner, I kept abreast of their UK health care deals, and I kept my stock. About a year later, after I had left the company, I grew weary of staying in the intel loop, and the company reached what I viewed as a reasonable valuation. I wanted to lock in my gains, so I sold my shares for a near 4x return. Looking back, I should have held on to them, but at that point, it had become pure uneducated speculation. I wasn't willing to invest the time to do it right, and frankly, I shouldn't have --- I didn't have enough capital working for me to justify the time I spent. (Though disturbingly, my retirement earnings were approaching my salary at the time).

Now it's easy to get excited about a big win like this, but you can't. To do so, would be to make the same egotistical mistake that I made with Commerce One. To have the belief that Cerner would always go up, or to maintain the belief that I didn't need to have knowledge to keep a wise investment would have meant a lesson ignored.

Now days, I'm a pretty safe investor. My heart isn't in it. It doesn't really excite me like starting a company. I stay out of trouble, I hedge market, currency, and interest rate risk, and I don't make large bets unless I have a damn good reason. I still make small bets for fun and the occasional macro play, but I collect my earnings, I cut my losses, and mostly, I ignore the market altogether. I read the WSJ and that's it. In general, it's a waste of time, and of life energy. If you don't have lots of money, and don't want to commit the effort required to do it right, I suggest you don't do it at all.

Lesson learned: If you want to gamble, find a way that doesn't involve your retirement.

That's my opinion anyhow.

Side Note:

Two summers ago, (back when my Commerce One stock was worth about $3), I was having lunch with Sandy Kemper, CEO of Perfect Commerce, at Pit-stop BBQ in Lee's Summit. I was discussing the use of Commerce One's Doc-Soap XML Data binding tooling in Allied Strategy's Web Services framework. Ironically, I was then using software open-sourced by the company I had so horrid a history with (Allied Strategy has since deprecated this for products from BEA and Apache). I knew that Sandy had just purchased and stripped out most of what I saw as the remaining value from Commerce One through a series of IP and product acquisitions on the cheap -- what I did not know, is that Sandy kept something of a secret as well. He too held a bit of Commerce One stock in his account, just to give memory to the pain -- To keep the lesson fresh.

Perhaps he was just being nice, but to this day, I feel a bit vindicated by it. So much so, I bought him a Cigar.

Sometimes its the little things.

Update: Feb 2006 - Sandy just outright bought the remainder of Commerce One for what I'm guessing amounts to 1/100 of 1% of their 2000 valuation. A class action was filed over the IPO.

Extreme nachos

2005-10-31T06:46:00.000-06:00

Extreme sports hype was so over in 2002. Nevermind that it's plastered all across my mountain bike, reminding me how hardcore I am on the commute to work... but do words like super-mega-hardcore really belong in the grocery aisle as a permanent fixture?

Am I to understand that we get in touch with our primal nature while negotiating the check out line? "Wow, this super-mega-crunchy peanut butter could give me the edge I need to pick up chicks." I don't think so. I understand that fads happen, I understand that you've got to act on the market.. but if this retardedness has settled in for the long run, something is sick with our society. John Wayne is not proud, and somebody, somewhere has lost some very important perspective on what it means to be a man.
No really..

I feel like something is deeply wrong here... Especially with the big X. eXtreme. What is the deal with that? eXtreme Nachos. Congratulations, nachos cannot take you on a crazy adventure.

It's time to re-consider our word choice. Extreme nachos would kill one in five people who ate them. That's extreme.

Where's the wisdom? Where's the comparison? There is none; this is a rant.

Spirituality and Simulation

2005-10-29T18:34:00.000-05:00

Yes, I did in fact almost get through a whole entry on David Deutsch without saying anything like 'quantum mechanical multiverse'. Instead I'm going to leave you to ponder something entirely different.

Deutsch's Law: Every problem that is interesting is also soluble.
Corollary #1: Inherently insoluble problems are inherently boring.
Corollary #2: In the long run, the distinction between what is interesting and what is boring is not a matter of subjective taste but an objective fact.
Corollary #3: The problem of why every problem that is interesting is also soluble, is soluble.

I think this law is perhaps most profound with regards to its religious implications. Is theism soluble? Should agnostics be apathetic? Questions for another day.

For now, check out your spiritual type and religious beliefs.

If that hasn't managed to mess up your day, lets go ahead and talk about computer simulation of life. Not only is this problem theoretically soluble and interesting, but its more related to spirituality than one might think. I'm not talking matrix fiction here, I'm talking the genuine philosophical theory of Oxford Professor Nick Bostrom. (paper, synopsis)

The simulation argument does not purport to demonstrate that you are in a simulation (nor does they author feel it is most likely that we are, he prefers #2). Instead, it shows that we should accept as true at least one of the following three propositions:

The chances that a species at our current level of development can avoid going extinct before becoming technologically mature is negligibly small

Almost no technologically mature civilisations are interested in running computer simulations of minds like ours

You are almost certainly in a simulation.

Apologists may want to listen up here. If you can manage to take this argument a bit more metaphorically than literally, it has the makings of something a lot more accessible than Anselm's Ontological treatises.

Didn't get what I mean? It's okay, I'm not positive I do either.

And yes Jim, this is why I'm late to your and Emily's Halloween party. I'm a loser.

Taking Children Seriously

2005-10-29T06:29:00.000-05:00

As I round out my career as a subject of formal education, I've been doing a lot of reflecting back with regards to my childhood and educational experience. I have a lot of conflicting feelings about the nature of education, and on a bad day I can be just plain John Taylor Gatto.

So where do I look for advice on such matters? Why theoretical physicists of course. I spent the last few hours reading on David Deutsch's co-brainchild Taking Children Seriously. While the whole thing sounds a bit 'sissy libertarian' on the surface, I must admit, I'm rather intrigued by many of the concepts. It reminds me a bit of the Love and Logic approach currently favored by friend and soon-to-be elementary educator, Kim Wood.

I'm a big fan of introducing personal responsibility and self-accountability at an early age. The earlier you start learning your own lessons and creating your own moral compass, the better. Likewise, I prefer authentic and transparent leadership and all that other warm and fuzzy stuff.

(Please nobody notice that I'm drawing similarities between leading a successful company, and developing a relationship with my future child...)

On the other hand, when the time comes to not ask questions and to not screw around, there has to be an understanding. Joe Pesci does not fuck around. Sometimes life isn't fair, sometimes things are out of your control, and in real life, some times the main character dies... of cholera. I support warm and fuzzy, but only to the extent that it does not interfere with an accurate understanding of human reality; of entropy, resiliency and being tough. It's a fine line, and I think it requires a bit of Buddhist wisdom, a bit of doing mysterious things that just plain don't make sense to your kid. Throw in some Johnny Cash to temper the Judeo-Christian social values, and the new-age empathy system. Ok fine, I don't know anything about raising children.

But rest assured, mine will be freaking sweet.

---

(these are a few pictures of children from my recent trip to China, here is the set)

On the Nature of Space

2005-10-21T06:22:00.000-05:00

I attended a lecture on the nature of space today by Sir Michael Atiyah. The lecture is the first in the American Mathematical Society's Einstein Public Lecture Series in Mathematics. This year, marks the 100th anniversary of the rather astounding year in which Albert Einstein published five ground breaking papers that "have shaped the direction of much of science and mathematics for the past century."

Now I've been to these sort of lectures at the University before and found them largely without attendance, so it was to my surprise when Jim and I showed up to find a packed house and a great many people being turned away at the door. In addition to a large turnout, apparently a great many students had been given extra credit for attendance. This became more obvious as the less visible portions of the room whipped out notebooks, scratched down about a page or so in said notebooks, awkwardly gazed into space for a few minutes, and then filed out of the auditorium. Still though, it was an amazing crowd.

Abstract: The Nature of Space
For more than two thousand years philosophers,
mathematicians and physicists have struggled to
understand the nature of space. Kant studied the role
of the human mind, mathematicians examined the logical
ramifications of space and physicists investigated
experimental phenomena. The story continues to the
present day , with increasingly exotic scenarios of
vibrating strings in ten dimensional space-time. I
shall review the history and present status of the
great philosophical controversies in the light of
modern developments.

During the first half of his presentation, Atiyah traversed through the landscape of early philosophers, posed questions on the nature of reality and perception, and identified various past conceptions of the universe (including platonic solids, or as he calls them "Scottish Solids" and the like). He discussed whether various human accomplishments were inventions or discoveries. For instance, are complex numbers a human invention?.. Many assumed so, but now that they are an integral component of Quantum Mechanics, perhaps we merely discovered something that was already there? This concept raises new issues as even the most basic representation of String Theory requires a truckload of advanced mathematics soup. Anyhow, He discussed the relationship of mathematics to theoretical physics and made a number of witty asides to engage the audience. The second part focused on the relationship between Einstein's work, Quantum Mechanics and String Theory.

The single pervading message that I took away from this event was:

Question your assumptions. Question them in the most fundamental of ways -- as Einstein did with space and time.

Specifically, Atiyah suggested that String Theory may have (or perhaps for the purposes of elegance ought to have) a simpler underlying representation. All classical theories and even quantum mechanics suggest that if you know the present state (position and velocities of particles) you can predict the future. (Never mind that quantum mechanical uncertainty forbids you from knowing both -- simply if you did know them, you could predict).

Atiyah suggested that perhaps we need to resign that notion, and assume de facto that we must know both the present and the past to know the future. Rather than simply affecting the present through differential equations, one would use retarded differential equations or related methods to actively engage the past. He asserted this as only his personal guess as to where we (the next generation) should look to question ourselves.

In all, though I didn't feel it earth shattering, I would highly recommend listening to Atiyah any time you get the chance. He is an excellent and accessible speaker, and certainly a brilliant and well-regarded man.

Winterize the boat

2005-10-17T05:45:00.000-05:00

I'm winterizing my 1986 Correct Craft Ski Nautique 2001 with my father. Finding someone else to do it is a needless hassle, and costs about $300. It can be done in about 20 mins alone, but is easier with a helper. I make no guarantees, but this boat has survived the last 16 years using the following method.

These directions apply specifically to a Ford 351 Windsor (V8), but may or may not be generalized to other engines.

Parts Required:

Screw driver (flat head)
2-3 Gallons RV/Marine Antifreeze (cheap pink stuff)
5 Gallon Bucket
1/3 or so qt Motor Oil (ex. 10w30) - optionally replace with engine fogger
Stabil (or compatible gas stabilizer)

Part I: Stabilize the gas (so it doesn't break down over the winter)

Pour the appropriate amount of Stabil into the gas tank
Take the boat out for a drive - get the stabil ran through the lines.
Do a few S-turns and maybe a spin out to get that gas tank sloshing :)
Enjoy the fall leaves, say farewell to your boat for the season

Part II: Prepare the engine

Preferably boat is on lift or trailer
Pour 3 Gallons Antifreeze in bucket (2 might well do)
Open engine hatch
Remove Flame Arrestor from top of carburetor (hand screw)
Use screwdriver to loosen hose clamp on the water intake hose located near the right rear of the engine compartment (black ~1.5" hose).
Disconnect intake hose and place into bucket of antifreeze (antifreeze is sucked through the engine rather than water to survive cold temperature)
Take the cap off of your motor oil and drizzle a just a bit into the carburetor (coating the inside of the engine with oil to prevent rust, etc)
Start the engine (please avoid the moving belts)
Pour a bit of oil (primarily into the front two barrels of the 4 barrel carb) as the antifreeze is being sucked out of the bucket. As the antifreeze is running out, pour the oil increasingly heavily until the engine quits. (note that if you actually run out of antifreeze first, you will immediately want to turn the key to shut the engine off).
Replace the flame arrestor
Reconnect the water intake hose and tighten its hose clamp.
Make sure the bilge is drained of any water/antifreeze that may have spilled.
Shut the engine hatch, leaving something under the edge (like a seat cushion) to keep a little airflow space.
Optionally remove the battery from the foreword compartment and store in a temperate location, and/or on a charger.
Clean and cover the boat.
That's it, you're done!

Hint: Spray ether in the carburetor as you start the engine next Spring to avoid grinding the starter while gas is pulled through the lines.

Blue Like Jazz

2005-10-15T06:43:00.000-05:00

Today is my father's birthday. Or rather it was... its now 7:50am. I called but couldn't get a hold of him. He is off in Morocco or Jordan or somewhere in transit, off somewhere being the father that I love. In honor of his birthday I taught myself how to play a little blues guitar. I love jazz and the blues, and I know how to address a guitar, so it worked out rather naturally. I had read last week in a friend's textbook that there is a certain scale for playing the Blues, a particular algorithm if you will. I can't tell you the extent to which this makes me want to cry -- mostly because it is true. I want jazz to be one of those few activities I am not going to be able to teach a computer to perform better than a person. I love playing a song for someone who imagines I'm following a set pre-planned pattern only to know inside that it just came as I played it; out of no where. To be honest, I'm not much of a musician, but all my best songs come out of nowhere -- out of some sort of intense passion or zen-like absence.

A few weeks ago, for the sake of inspiration, I convinced myself that my father was dead, and I was playing at his funeral. It worked. I shed a tear for the first time in a few years, and my playing was spectacular. Improv is poetry in motion and one of the most beautiful experiences I know. I spend the rest of my "now and then" practice time tinkering around on instruments, annoying my co-habitants, repeating the same old garbage waiting for improvisation to happen again... Waiting for some kind of passion or inspiration; a sudden new song. Periodically I get one.

I read the book "Blue Like Jazz" today (thanks Meagan), and it gave me a bit of a new perspective as well. I'd sum it up as the brutally honest and colorful confessions of a confused and experimental Christian writer, struggling to mesh his ego and his intellect with his religion. My guess is, if you're a Christian, it will re-affirm your Christianity... and If you're not a Christian it will re-affirm your not-Christianity. Either way, it gives you great psychological insight into the human condition and offers some inspiring lessons learned by the author despite his endearing weaknesses.

"I believe that the greatest trick of the devil is not to get us into some sort of evil, but rather to have us wasting time. That is why the devil tries so hard to get Christians to be religious." - Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz

I really enjoy trading books with people I admire -- Books that there's no chance we'd read otherwise. It's a good life strategy to prevent narrow mindedness, and there's always something to learn you weren't expecting. I suppose that's why I like talking with people as well.

Today was a beautiful autumn day at the lake... clean fresh air, and warm sun. I spent most of the day talking with my mother about personalities and relationships. She wants me to take a cute picture of her for dating and for professional purposes. I spent the evening talking with my friend Matt about life and business. After he left, my Aunt (Lynn) couldn't sleep, and found me reading in my room in the middle of the night. We talked about pensions, retirement, finance. I spent the whole day talking and listening. It may sound a bit odd, but this is precisely how every single day of my life goes if I don't intervene. Unless I make a distinct effort to seclude myself and be alone, all I do is communicate for extended periods of time. Luckily, people are one of the things in this world I most enjoy.

Lately, I have an intense desire to meet and communicate deeply with brilliant and interesting strangers who are totally unlike myself in some important way. Well, that is when I'm not shutting off my phone and locking my door so I can try to accomplish something with my life.

For a calm and emotionally stable person, I can be a bit extreme.

The Book of Five Rings

2005-10-10T18:16:00.000-05:00

I read Miyamoto Musashi's "Go Rin No Sho" today on the recommendation of a complete stranger. Musashi can be thought of as a bit like Japan's version of Sun Tzu -- a famed and legendary character that shaped the face of warriors and strategists for hundreds of years.

The book's main concern is Strategy and the way of sword fighting (often considered synonymous in Eastern culture). It is divided into 5 short sub-texts: Groud, Water, Fire, Wind, and Void.

"Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men" - Musashi, The Book of Water

Translations can be found online here or here, and can be purchased in most book stores.

Thus the Weblog Begins

2005-10-09T19:41:00.000-05:00

"It is better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than to open it and remove all doubt." - Mark Twain

I've been avoiding publishing my thoughts online for some time. For one thing, writing something down for public view, gives you pride and investment in past thoughts. Being invested in the historical accuracy of your opinion is the surest way of making certain you never learn anything again. Secondarily, when your goal is to live your life in the present, it just seems like a waste of time to go about writing down everything you've just done.

However, recently I've come to change my mind in light of several realizations:

If I have truly taught myself that it is okay to be wrong privately, I must now learn to accept being wrong publicly without fear or investment.
I have friends and family that constantly ask me what I'm thinking and doing. Writing thoughts down once, publicly, could actually save me time and allow me to turn conversations into something deeper than "How was your trip?"
I do in fact have an egoistical need to express myself and relate to others. Writing down my thoughts may reduce the amount of time I feel the need to spend talking about myself, and allow me to spend more time listening to others.
I place so little mental emphasis on the organization and contents of my past, that unless I record things, I tend to lose touch with historical reality. Now Google can recall my past for me.
Maybe I'll share something that will help someone?

More than anything however, this is a part of a massive life re-organization process that I am going through in preparation for the coming storm that will soon be my life as my startup comes of age.

For this reason, you will see me adding a few back dated entries as I dig up journals and sort through electronic files and notes. When I am done, I will have rid myself of most of my cluttered non-value-producing possessions. My mind will be a bit more at peace, and I will be one step closer to actualizing my potential and becoming a true leader. *cough*

Or.. at least my mom will be proud of me.

Cruise back to LA

2005-06-04T05:13:00.000-05:00

On the way back to I started to learn a lot more about the cruise lines. It was one one of these nights that I met a good portion of the crew at the dance club. I would have to say that my dancing is rather enhanced by the slight rocking motion of the boat. It was a really good time.

Up until this night in particular, the crew was forbidden to interact with the passengers socially. Since this was the Cruise Director's last voyage, there was something of a farewell party. Later that evening, when hanging out with the Cruise Director, I got a number of financial figures about the boat out of him. There was a great deal of speculation amongst our party regarding how old the boat was and what time period the decorations were from.

The Carnival Pride is a $440M boat, 2001 model. Newer, nicer boats run as much 800+M.
As I suspected, the crowd is drawn with food and shows, and the staff is primarily international workers with a lower than average wage (too low for land, but includes free stay and food, and rates are more competitive internationally). It takes something like 18 years to pay off a boat, and older, cheaper junk boats are pure cash cows. At most they get 6 years of profitability out of them, often times due to service and pressure for upgrades, only a short while.

The ticket prices range from $750 - $2500 and on the whole, a small loss is taken on the tickets. The profit comes from the $2.5m in incidentals (primarily alcohol and gambling). I should have noted while all the food is free on the boat, the drinks are fairly pricey. I suppose a $6 margarita is not bad, but the prices can quickly add up. If one is in to soft drinks rather than water or juice, a refillable mug can be purchases for $45 and used for the duration of the trip. Alcohol may be acquired in port, or even purchased duty free on the ship, but it must be stowed for the duration of the trip in a special locker.

I have to say that bar none my favorite experience was sitting up on the bow of the boat late at night by myself. Sailing through the night air at full steam into a sea of blackness is great for thinking. As the warm breeze blew in my face, I would try to spot contours in the water and stretch my mind to invent distant thoughts and visions until the sunrise came. It was definitely a calming and meditative experience. I was very surprised to see few if any other guests come to that area of the ship, and enjoy the ride. They seemed to be more interested in drinking and dropping cash at the casino. There were certainly a lot of seedy characters along for the ride.

In all, when I left I felt rather relaxed and recovered from China. It was the perfect recovery from the whirl wind touring. I had great food, warm weather, and time to think and to sleep, and to process the experiences I had been through.

As I left the ship I was pleasantly surprise to find that I had been credited $35 to my on ship account automatically. Since all I had purchased was a single Jack and Coke, I returned triumphantly with a $31 check from Carnival in hand. Many of my friends had multi-hundred or even thousand dollar bills. At that point, I was definitely glad I hadn't felt like partying on ship.

Cabo San Lucas

2005-06-03T02:19:00.000-05:00

What can I say about Cabo? Cabo was pretty decent. Fairly popularized but not so bad. The port is too shallow to draft a cruise boat, so you have to be shuttled in on little transport ships. You can always tell when you're in a real foreign tourist trap. Despite Cabo's appearance, the fact that all merchandise was labeled and denominated in US dollars rather than pesos was a pretty clear signal. I wandered all around Cabo by myself looking for the best Cuban cigars. I ran in to all sorts of people and got into a few spot conversations in Spanish.

I had people trying to sell me cigars out of vending refrigerators and convenience store counters. Most of them were worthless and dried out beyond belief. I finally found two local locations with a walk in humidors and a fine selection. I bought cigars from both, though I paid a bit above market. The first location was the cheapest, but in hindsight, it was worth paying more for the quality of the second. I talked to the shop owner and she advised me as to how much Cabo had been and would continue to be increasing in real estate value.

On the way back through town I ran into some friends at a open air restaurant a ways off the path. We enjoyed quesadillas and mariachi music. We walked back towards the ship and tried to avoid all the nick-nack peddlers and drunk people stumbling out of Sammy Hagar's Mas Tequila experience.

Mazatlan

2005-06-02T02:19:00.000-05:00

I really got into Mazatlan. The area was less developed and far more "authentic". I took an open air taxi into town with a friend. An open air taxi is translation for souped up golf cart with chrome wheels and a ghetto rigged stereo. The first sound I heard in Mazatlan with Eminem and 50 Cent bouncing out of the cab's stereo. Watch out for these guys, a ride in to town should run about 30-40 pesos. If you don't say anything they'll charge you 100 or so. By comparison its 7 pesos for the bus. Jet Skiing or Paragliding on the beach runs about 35 pesos.

We started by heading down the to Market. Mazatlan still has a traditoinal Mexican market, complete with counterfit merchandise and butchered pigs heads greeting you at every turn. You can truly get lost in its sometimes crowded and twisting aisles, until suddenly you appear outside again.

After the market, I headed down to the beach. We found a gap between building and got our feet in the sand. I haggled for a pair of sunglasses and headed towards the center of the action. There we met up with other friends and I enjoyed a rather large and rather strong $6 strawberry margarita. We sat and watched as local boys played soccer in the sand, and visitors took sailboats out in the breeze.

Puerto Vallarta

2005-06-01T02:19:00.000-05:00

To be honest, I didn't see much of Puerto. What I did see, didn't look too appealing. Sprawling habitation, a Walmart and a Sam's Club were on the north side the pier. The on-ship internet is ungodly expensive so, I went just off the boat to a $2/hr internet cafe and took care of some business. At the cafe, I met eyes with who I thought was an attractive Mexican girl.

I would find out later that she was actually a ship employee, and from Estonia (or Latvia or one of those Balkan places). Whoops.

Each day in port there are numerous shore excursions. You have to pick one, often times the best ones book up fast. I actually skipped out on these and caught up on rest from my Shanghai all nighters. Most were rather expensive, and the crew memebers I had met indicated they were rather lame. I would later recieve mixed reviews from friends.

The on-ship entertainment however, was rather good.

At Sleep in the Pacific

2005-05-31T02:18:00.000-05:00

I slept all day today -- until 8pm. My cabin is situated towards the interior of the ship in a calm, low traffic area, and has no windows, which is ideal for getting rest.

Each night there are shows, theatrical performances, comedians, hypnotists, and such. I've made a point of staying up late and talking to some of the employees. Most of them are from overseas -- all parts of the world. Apparently the cruise ship pays very poorly, if you ignore the free room and board.

Tonight I chose escargot, prosciutto, and melon for an appetizer, pasta with tomato and creme with shrimp and scallops, followed by cherry cheesecake and lime sorbet for desert.

At Sea in the Pacific

2005-05-30T02:16:00.000-05:00

Today I discovered the magical breakfast card. This by far my single most favorite thing about taking this cruise. You simply check boxes on this card full of wonderful breakfast options and hang it in the box by your door along with a delivery time.

The next day I was awoken by a Bulgarian girl's pleasant voice, and a cart full of delectable food. Fresh fruit, danish, bagel, cereal, juice, coffee, bacon, pancakes, strawberries, melon, you name it. For the first time in my life, I was truly excited for waking up. I spent the rest of the day laying out on the sun deck.

The evening followed with a formal prime rib and lobster dinner. I think that rather speaks for itself.

LA - Carnival Cruise Lines

2005-05-29T02:15:00.000-05:00

We drove down to Carnival Cruise Line's docking station next to the Queen Mary. We waited in line outside some kind of geodesic dome and then filed in. On the way through there were several ID checks and staged photo opportunities.

The first dinner was gorgeous, with very excellent food and deserts. In this regard I was quite impressed. I enjoyed two main courses, two appetizer, and two deserts.

In general, the cruise ship was the gaudiest thing I've seen in my life. The walls are covered with renaissance-painting wallpaper which showed pixelation. There are naked people touching fingers and the sort, combined with awkward sexual marine themed statues, and a full sized replica of Michelangelo's David. There are fancy plastic light fixtures and molding strewn all about. The atmosphere has clearly been designed to make people who are not familiar with luxury think that they are surrounded by it lavishly. It seemed to be working.

Shanghai, Vancouver, LA

2005-05-28T02:14:00.000-05:00

I arrived back at my hotel from my night out just in time to catch the morning bus to the airport. I wonder how my room mates feel about my not sleeping in the room a single night that we were in Shanghai. I suppose at least they were happy that none of us had to double up in a bed!

The whole day was spent in airports and on airplanes. Shanghai to Vancouver to LA. We returned to the ghetto Ramada in LA just in time to experience a gang disturbance. A number of young men ran in the hotel dodging this way and that and cowered behind an officer, while the gang of twenty or more that was chasing them disbanded (or went somewhere to wait for them). There was a lot of cussing and gang signs. The officer was pretty calm about it, very nice, almost bored.

That night we ordered some Domino's and went to sleep.

Shanghai - McDonald's, the Internet, Late night chicken's feet

2005-05-27T02:12:00.000-05:00

Shanghai - Gallup, Pan-Pacific, Oriental Pearl Tower, DJ and Drinks

2005-05-26T02:04:00.000-05:00